


Spock Has Never Been Tubing

by captkirkmerica



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Almost Crack, Camping, F/F, F/M, Language, Shore Leave, Swearing, water sport
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-14 02:04:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2173899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captkirkmerica/pseuds/captkirkmerica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk and the bridge crew had to drag Spock out on shore leave, getting to come back however...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There will be more ;)

### No Sub-text Needed

McCoy, Uhura, Scott, Sulu, and Chekov where waiting on the transporter pad, heavily weighed down with back-packs and suit cases. They all mumbled in annoyance, shifting in their flannel clothes. After all, you can't go camping in your uniform.

"What the bloody hell is takin' 'im so long?" Scotty threw his pack onto the floor.

"Scotty," Uhura stepped into his space, putting her hand on his. Scott visibly relaxed and entwined their fingers. They had been dating for five earth months, so it was natural. "Spock's going to take some convincing, we all know how he _loves_ shore leave," The sarcasm in her voice was deadly, it lightened the mood in the room, Chekov giggled into his hand. McCoy smiled at the sound, he loved when Chekov laughed. Everyone did, but McCoy got to hear it more then anyone.

Scott opened his mouth to speak, when the door opened.

"Hey guys," Kirk shuffled into the room carrying two back-packs, his hair was mussed up, and his lips where swollen. " sorry we're a bit late," Kirk offered no more explanation to it as he jogged onto the platform.

Spock followed behind the captain, looking almost worse. His hair was sticking up in more then one place, and his cheeks and neck where flushed green, he was dragging a small suitcase behind him.

The group was silent, all watching the pair stumble their way on to the pad; Sulu was biting his lip to stifle his laugh, McCoy just stared at them with a scowl, deepening when Kirk flashed a smile at the doctor. No sub-text was needed to know what Kirk had done to get Spock to come along, and it wouldn't have been the first time none was needed.

Spock stood beside Uhura and Kirk, with his hands behind his back, ignoring the giggled and obvious looks the crew where giving him. Kirk caught Scott's eye, winking.

"Let's get this party started" Kirk wrapped his arms around Spock's waist, which made the Vulcan go a deeper shade of green, like a forest. Which is where they now found them selves.

McCoy shuttered at the thought that his atoms had just traveled through space, and on to Earth. Chekov noticed, he stood up on his toes and pecked McCoy on the lips lightly. Leonard smirked and ruffled the Ensign's hair.

"Alright!" Kirk left the green man and stood in front of the group of people, "Uhura and Scott are in... _cabin?_... yeah, cabin three," no one was really listening to Kirk as he rambled on. When he looked up from the paper he was holding, he saw that everyone was leaving. " and... hey? The fuck?" He waved his hands at the dispersing crowd. Sulu turned to look at him.

"Sorry, Jim," he wasn't really sorry, "we know where we're headed," he left with Ckekov and McCoy, so the only two people left where Kirk and Spock.

"Well," Kirk sighed and picked up the two bags he tossed on the dirt, "We should find cabin seven," He nodded his head to a path, where none of the other's had gone down, it was covered in flower's and there was a canopy of branches weaved together.

"Capta..." Spock stopped himself, "Jim," Kirk laughed under his breath as they started walking into the romanticized path.

"Yeah?" Kirk lead the way.

"I thought, what you where just presently speaking of, was very fascinating," Kirk snorted.

"'corse you did, Spock," Kirk shook his head. Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Jim, I am Vulcan. I'm incapable of lying,"

"Yeah, I _totally_ believe you,"

Kirk's lips where twitching upwards as Spock narrowed his eye's, there was no sound but the crunching of leaves under their feet.

"Jim," Spock started cautiously, "I don't understand the stressing you put on your words," The Vulcan way of saying _I have no idea what sarcasm is or how to use it_.

" All I'm saying is," The path widened and the canopy got thinner. " Spock!" Kirk was getting more and more excited, he had only seen pictures of this place and, let me tell you, it was pretty different then all the cabins the crew chose. "We're getting close! Come on!" Kirk darted off, a smile played at the edges of Spock's mouth as he picked up the luggage he had brought, and ran after his lover.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about using the words from the story as the title but I liked it.

### Okay, Maybe I Over Did it, (or not)

The cabin, no. The _villa_ that stood in front of them, was _amazing_. The walls were made to look like old stone, and had rose vines growing up them in all directions. Almost the whole second floor, yeah, _second floor_ , was opened with windows. The vines were professionally groomed so all the glass was visible. The porch was made of smooth wood and there were four lounge chairs around a small pool.

Wait, not a pool, a hot tub. A Jacuzzi on a porch, in the forest. And they weren't even inside yet.

Kirk turned to look at Spock, who was looking at the building, trying to be subtle about his astonishment. Kirk jingled the key to get his attention.

"What do ya think?" Kirk waggeled his eye brows.

"Jim," Spock stepped onto the stone porch, "this does not fit my expectation of camping,"

Kirk leaned forward, so close that Spock could feel the heat of his breath on his face.

"We'll do a lot more then just camp," He pressed a quick kiss to Spock's lips and opened the doors.

The room that was opened before them was beautiful. The floor was white birch, and the walls were white, swirled with red. There was two white leather couches off to the right of the room, in front of a fire place and a shag rug. To the left was an arch doorway leading to a modern looking kitchen and a six place table. Straight ahead of them, a glass door was leading out to a grassy back yard and a crisp blue lake; beside that, a stair case leading up to... somewhere they can explore later.

Kirk couldn't move. _okay, maybe I over did it_ , he thought as Spock looked over his shoulder.

Kirk heard a small gasp from his Vulcan boyfriend. _Or not._

" What do ya think now?" Kirk moved to the side of the doorway, letting Spock see the whole room.

"Still not sure, Jim," Kirk smiled and dropped his bags on the floor, walking towards the back door.

"I'm sure you can think about it _and_ go swimming," Kirk stripped his shirt tossing it over the back of the couch with a flick of his wrist. He turned back to Spock, who still hadn't moved, and put his hands on his hips. " right?"

Spock's eyes raked over Kirk and his body before meeting his eyes.

"I... suppose that could be tolerable," Spock walked slowly over to Kirk, and put his finger on Kirk's collar bone, drawing patterns on his skin.

Kirk shivered, but stopped himself from leaning into his touch. He stepped back, loving the look of confusion on Spock's face.

"Come swimming, Spock," Kirk locked their fingers in the Vulcan kiss, Spock's eyes darkened; with lust and resentment for getting so hooked on his boyfriend's touch. "think of it as payment for the blow-job I gave you," Kirk winked and strolled out the door. Leaving Spock to get his mind together.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going on a road trip so i wont be able to post >_> apologizes, and you can tell the exact moment i turned from serious writing to crack

### Mermen

Kirk walked out onto the dock, there was a ladder, and a place to fasten a boat. There was soft gold sand leading into the crystal blue water.

He put his hands on his hips, looking out over the expanse of placid water. Kirk inhaled the pine scented air, filling his lungs with it. Something he hadn't been able to do for what seemed like forever.

Exhaling, he tip-toed to the edge of the dock, careful not to disturb the water. Kirk keeled down on the wood, making sure he didn't get splinters (those little bastards are impossible to get out), and inspected the lake below. It was around five feet, and Kirk could see every grain of sand at the bottom, there where even a few fish idling around; although they scattered when a shadow hit the water.

Kirk was about to look back at whoever was behind him, when he felt a nudge on his back. There was a slight moment of trepidation where he wasn't on the dock, and he wasn't in the water. Time was moving slower as he flipped around to try and see the devil who pushed him in, even though he had an idea.

Cold water surrounded Kirk as he splashed about, limbs flailing in every direction as he regained his gravity.

He swung his head up and gasped, catching his breath as he eyed his Vulcan companion.

"I am prepared to..." Spock gasped as Kirk attacked the water, sending it flying in every direction.

Kirk laughed out loud as Spock stood awkwardly on the dock, dripping with water. His were hands stretched out, and his face was nothing short of hysteria.

"_Jim,_" Spock's voice fluttered as he started breathing again. Kirk only laughed harder.

"_Spock_" Kirk choked out between gasps .

Spock sighed and dropped his towel, he shuffled right to the edge of the dock, sticking his toes over the wood.

"Vulcan's don't usually swim, Jim." Kirk smiled, Spock didn't even try to rhyme.

"Yeah, well you love me so you'll come in anyway," Kirk jeered matter of factly as he waded out deeper in the lake, he glanced at Spock's swim shorts (okay maybe stared). He looked so different in _normal_ clothes, and his wet hair.

Kirk shivered.

A smirk played at the corners of his Vulcan lips, Spock sat down beside the ladder, obviously wondering how to get out of this.

Kirk slowly waded up to the dock again, staring his boyfriend in the eyes.

He went right up to Spock, still locked eyes, it seemed like there was nothing but the two of them. The water stilled.

"_S'chn T'gai_" Kirk had been practicing that phrase for months, and it was worth it.

Spock's face was a mix of shock and lust, as no one, in all their time with the _Enterprise_ had anyone said the first officer's real name. Hell, people forgot that 'Spock' wasn't his real name.

But not the greatest captain in the all history of anything ever. Captain James T. I'm-better-then-you Kirk remembers stuff!

Okay, that one time him and Spock got beamed up only in their underwear was _maybe_ his fault, he wasn't the one who took them off in the first place! It was Spock's fault too, he just couldn't keep his Vulcan _lok_ in his pants!

Fun fact: that is also the time everyone found out that Spock had underwear with Kirk's face on it (okay, maybe this was Kirk's fault too, he _might_ have gotten them for Spock and made him wear them all the time because he liked the way Spock's boner pushed just at the right spot so it stretched Kirk's face. _But that's not the point!_ )

_The point is_ Kirk found a way to distract Spock from anything he wanted; maybe even, _I don't know_ **LOGIC**.

Kirk put two fingers on Spock's calf, and did a little finger man walk all the was up to this thigh. Not taking his eyes away from his logic loving boyfriend, he flattened out his hand, drumming his fingers on the pale skin (mental note: Spock needs a tan, _needs_ a tan).

He rubbed his other hand onto Spock's other thigh, watching his eyes grow darker and darker.

Kirk slid his hands back down to the less-pale ankles, and wrapped his hands around them.

To be honest, Kirk loved the look of more-confusion less-lust on the Vulcan face (there wasn't really a difference but when you've been fucking one for this long you can tell), and since Kirk had successfully distracted Spock from the ice cold lake-of-Vulcan-doom below him, Kirk yanked on the legs as hard as he could; watching as the confusion turned to terror as mental scarring approached.

There was a huge splash as Spock's body dropped like a stone in the water, there was a moment of silence as he collected himself under the surface.

Now it was Kirk's turn to feel terror as Spock rose up from the lake like a really angry Vulcan demon here to collect Kirk's soul.

It was even more scary with the fact that the only speed Kirk could get away from The Wrath Of Spock was help-I'm-running-in-a-nightmare speed.

He screamed for help as a mass of Spock shot towards him (damn his Vulcan strength).

"THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN!" Kirk yelled at the top of his lungs, "I'M BEING ATTACKED BY A LAKE MONSTER AND..." He was cut off with a screech as two arms where tied around him like a rope.

Before he knew it he was being lifted up into the air, way above Spock's head, and tossed like a skipping stone.

Kirk's cried of agony where stopped short as he fell into the water by his Vulcan companion, again. Kirk was even more disorientated then the last time he was dunked, maybe it was due to the fact that he was just _thrown_ across the water, like a _stone_.

He came up screaming and laughing, as the lake monster swam towards him with its dead (as in having so much fun), cold (as in I love you) eyes. Kirk could see the laughter behind them as Spock diapered under the water.

Kirk swam as fast as he could away from his death. He looked over his shoulder, into the water, but saw nothing. He stopped swimming and looked around some more.

He felt something brush against his ankle, and knew he made the biggest mistake of his life.

There was a tug, and Kirk was under water. He opened his eyes, trying to see where his nemesis was hiding. He expected to see a blue lake, but instead he saw a chubby cheeked Spock floating in front of him. His hair was waving in every direction as he was trying to keep a level head with Kirk. Who couldn't help but break out into a smile.

He swam back up to the air, filling his lungs before going back down. He met with his mer-Spock, trying not to kick him in the face. Kirk pulled his Vulcan up to him, and gave him a under water fish kiss.

It was awkward and messy and neither of them knew what they where doing, but they where together, and that was okay.

Then Kirk remembered about air.

They both breached the surface, Kirk started giggling like a school girl, while Spock had a full fledged _smile_ , and it would send amazement down the best photographers; and his eyes, that Kirk couldn't tear his gaze away from, would shock the smartest astronomers.

"Are you two done playing mer-maid over there? We heard your shouting and figured we'd come save you from the 'Lake monoster'" McCoy's voice broke the intimate silence between them. The two sea people looker out onto the lake to find where the voice came from.

Kirk's smile grew even bigger.

He was on a boat! A _speed_ boat. With everyone else too!

" Len!" Kirk waved a hand the best he could without drowning, the crew waved back, accept Scott and McCoy, who where sharing a flask. _Typical_.

" Well?" Chekov shouted from the bow, "are you coming?". Kirk looked back at Spock, his hair was sticking up in almost every direction but down, Kirk tugged on his hand.

"Come on my merman," He ruffled Spock's hair before racing him to their friends.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to write Chekov's accent in here, not sure if you can understand, but i always find it easier to read it as the characters and stuff. It took me a lot longer to write this cuz I've never been to the Black Hill's and _here I am_. sorry tho, hope you like it!

The boat ride was awesome, everyone was laughing, and drinking. Music was blasting from the speakers (McCoy's music because he knew the best albums), everyone was just enjoying the ride.

"...and! Ve can rent zese boards vere you stand and skate on ze vater!" Chekov was really enthusiastic about water sports, he said he's never been on a speed boat before today. Sulu was laughing at how excited the Russian kid jumped around as he drew shapes in the air, in fact, they all where.

"Could you get tubes where you got the boat?" Kirk crunched up the can he finished, and threw it at Scotty, who caught it in midair and chucked it right back. Kirk made a little scream as he covered his head.

Uhura picked up the can and dropped in the pile that had become the trash pile, she shook her head at both of them.

"Aye! Zere vere lots of zing's zat looked like tires," He drew a circle in front of himself. "Is zat vat you meant?"

A dirty smile crossed Kirk's face as he turned to look at Spock. His unsuspecting prey.

"Oh Pavel," Kirk shuffled closer to his mer-Vulcan, who was chatting innocently with Uhura. "We're going to have so much fun,"

McCoy saw what was happening and his faced turned to pure terror.

"Jim," He stood quickly, attracting the attention of everyone, but Kirk, who was still ogling at his boyfriend. "now wait just a damn minute, the last time you took me _tubing_ I..." Kirk laughed with his whole body, clutching his stomach. Everyone was looking back and forth at the two men.

" The last time I took you tubing, you where screaming like a little boy!" Kirk was howling as a deep flush hit McCoy's face.

Spock raised a brow at Scott, who shrugged and shook his head.

"I vould like to try zis _tubing_." Chekov's determined voice cut through Kirk's supper annoying laugh.

McCoy glared at his curly haired boyfriend.

"Pavel," he pointed a finger at him. "you better take that back or god help us."

Sulu sighed beside them, saying something about how he should have taken the job on the USS-Excalibur.

Kirk evened his breathing and whipped away a tear.

"Awe, _Leeennnn_!" Kirk stumbled over to Chekov, squishing his face in between two hands just as big. " you can't say no to this face!"

Chekov's lips looked like fish lips and his eyes where almost covered by his own cheeks.

Chekov giggled, trying to smile, but all he did was scrunch his features up more. Everyone was smiling at the sight, and Uhura was even giggling along with him.

McCoy glared at Kirk, fighting the smile that was sneaking it's way onto his face. His eye's slid over to Chekov's squished face, his hard stare softened.

He gave a long sigh.

"Alright, _fine_." McCoy slumped down in the drivers seat, defeated. " We can go _tubing_." Kirk threw his hand's into the air, whooping with victory as the rest of the crew talked happily about who was going to die first.

" Mr. Spock!" Kirk clapped him on the shoulder. "You'll love tubing." Kirk flashed a lopsided grin; Spock merely looked at him and raised a brow.

"I will try, Jim," Spock tried to make his voice sound nonchalant, but his eye's shone with excitement.

Kirk knew this was going to get him killed, but he would get killed by Spock; probably by his ear breaking scream that only Kirk knew about. But, they would see.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still camping! sorry about being late, hope you like this! tubing will ensue next chapter! (exclamation marks are awesome!)

"Omygodomygod,"Kirk was running back to the boat that was parked in the water in front of the rental place; he made McCoy pay for them because _apparently_ he had been _such and **awesome** captain_ , so he shouldn't have to pay.

 _Oh, he'll pay_ , thought McCoy as he trudged behind the screaming toddler that was their captain. He kicked the dock as Kirk jumped into the boat.

"Come _oooonnnn_" Kirk was legit a two year old. McCoy looked behind himself just as Spock, Uhura, and Scott rounded the corner with two tubes draped over their shoulders; Sulu was there too, but he was just holding a handle, _that little shit_.

Spock had one on his back (with Sulu behind him), and Uhura the other. Scott was holding the rope with her, with a look on his face that told everyone he knew someone was going to die. And it would be him.

Spock was ahead of Uhura as they carried the tubes, she glared at him, then sped up. Spock glanced over his shoulder and saw her closing on him; so he sped up as well. Soon enough there was two turtle people racing across a field towards a dock, that was filled with people. Not good.

Chekov wasn't even watching them, he was walking on the side of the dock, balancing with his arms out and his tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth. McCoy felt himself smile, he loved when Chekov acted like this, when he thought no one was looking. McCoy knew that Chekov wanted everyone to think of him as a man, not as a seven-teen year old; he also knew that Chekov still loved to do all the little things that others would think was _childish_. McCoy thought it was the most adorable thing ever.

He would never tell Chekov that, the kid would _alienate_ him.

" Chekov! Come 'ere," he grabbed his boyfriend's arm, Chekov yelped but went along as he got pulled into the boat. McCoy sat on the closest chair and pulled him onto his lap. Chekov got _that_ look in his eyes, and moved to press his lips against the man under him; McCoy blocked him but turned hie head towards Kirk.

" Jim! You should go onto the dock," Kirk looked at them and winked.

"Don't get too messy," He rolled out of the boat and onto the wood. He stood up and turned his back to the pair of lovers.

"Bones?" Chekov pushed McCoy's hand off his face. "Vat vas zat about?" His eyebrows where pushed together but Bones just turned his head towards Kirk.

The thundering of turtle people grew louder as Spock and Uhura bolted to the dock, with their faces covered by tubes; Scotty was running behind them, trying to warn them about trampling a two year old, while Sulu was smiling like an idiot.

Kirk heard the stampede and turned in horror they barreled straight into him, sending Kirk flying over the dock and into the water with a loud _sploosh_.

Spock and Uhura bounced off each other and both landed in the lake with an even bigger splash. McCoy hugged Chekov and shielded him from the water, they where both laughing like mad men as the screams of surprise and terror of the deceased filled the air.

Uhura fell beside Kirk, and she was splashing everyone she could reach, smiling as her hair stuck to her skin. Kirk stuck out his tongue and threw water back at her, their screams turned to joy. Scott and Sulu reached the dock and stared out at the thrashing pair of children in the water.

Chekov stood off McCy's lap and got out of the boat silently, creeping behind still dry men on the dock. McCoy nodded encouragement, and Chekov shoved their backs into the wet grave yard.

Sulu let out a sound like a little boy, and Scott released a string of words that toddlers shouldn't know.

McCoy jumped up and grabbed his boyfriend.

"LEN, NO, STOP!" Chekov was struggling against the doctor as he got tossed into the lake as well; Sulu and Kirk where teamed up against Scotty and Uhura in a splashing match and Chekov got thrown smack dab in the middle. McCoy was howling as the Ensign got murdered with water.

In fact, he was so engrossed in seeing his perfect lover in wet clingy clothing, he didn't even here the Vulcan bastard crawl out of the pits of water hell and walk up to him. Until the last second that is.

"YOU BUGGERIN' FUCK VULCAN BASTA..." Leonard was still swearing as he hit the water, the fish would soon be swearing at fishermen.

He could still hear the crew laughing as he planted his feet in the sand and stood up, his _new_ plaid shirt was soaked in the lake, and he had hair stuck in his eyes.

Uhura had an arm draped over Scotty's shoulder for support as she wiped tears from her eyes.

"Having fun?" She poked McCoy in the chest, he swatted her finger away. Scowling at anyone and anything that moved, _witch was everyone since laughing was apparently mandatory._ He stomped onto the ladder, trying to dry his hair by shaking it like a dog.

Spock stood beside the ladder, watching McCoy slip on the metal steps; his lips were turned up in the corners but his posture was impeccable.

"Maybe we should stop skrewin' around in the water, when we are suppose to _skrew around on the water_." McCoy stood up on the wood and whipped off his top and walked towards the boat. Kirk cat-called behind him. There was soon a shirt shot in the captains direction.

" Leonard's probably right, I wanna go tubing!" Uhura followed McCoy out of the water.

Kirk, Sulu, Scotty,and Chekov clambered out after her and sat in the leather seats, wrapped in towels. They all were waiting for McCoy to start the boat, he sighed and looked over his shoulder.

"Don't you need to _tie_ the tubes _to_ the boat?" Everyone turned to look at Kirk.

Scott shooed him out of the seat, Kirk started hissing.

"Oi! We all voted _you_ to tie them, now get of the bloody boat!" Kirk sighed and got up, he twisted his towel in a rat tail and whipped it at Scott's feet. He screamed and hopped onto Uhura's lap, he stuck out his tongue, and Kirk stuck his out right back.

" Just get goin'!" McCoy pinched the bridge of his nose as Kirk tripped out of the boat, Spock sighed and followed to help, while the rest of the crew stayed back to talk about... _whatever toddlers talk about._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ive only been able to type at school in lunch break! sorry!

"Alright," McCoy leaned back in the drivers chair, he was the only one who was sitting. Everyone else was to pumped and tipsy to sit. Spock, like always, was standing like a statue with his hands behind his back, obviously not comfortable with the idea of being put on a plastic bag full of air and whipped at high speeds across a lake. "who wants to go first?" He directed his voice anywhere but at Chekov, who was trying his hardest not to be giggling like a little girl at the fact that the whole crew had taken up the task of trying to make Spock smile.

Sulu was singing some sort of song? And waltzing with Scott? Who was singing a completely different song??

What a bunch of...

"I VANT TO GO FIRST!" Chekov almost yelled, his eyes went wide and kinda like an anime person. He spun towards a terrified doctor. "CAN VE GO FIRST!" He hopped up and down and up and down and...

"I'm gonna' be sick" McCoy hung his head in his hands, the dancing psychopaths stopped dancing and all stared at the dying man.

Chekov was poking Leonard in the arm.

"Can ve goooooo?" McCoy looked up, and Chekov made the saddest puppy-dog face ever, McCoy countered with the angry doctor look. Pavel gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. _Super effective!_

McCoy grumbled as Chekov pulled away.

"Fine," He scowled as his boyfriend and the crew screamed. "who's gonna' drive the boat?"

The doctor stood up and grabbed a life jacket, Chekov jumped to his side for a hug, but McCoy picked him up and threw the boy back in the water. His screams where deafening.

While Chekov was yelling in Russian, Kirk wrapped his arms around Spock.

"You're not going anywhere but on that tube, babe," The brief look of horror on Spock's made up for the pain Leonard would have to endure.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Jim, I don't think I am prepared for this," Kirk looked over at Spock, he was gripping the handles on the tube so tightly it looked like they where going to be ripped off.

"Don't be like that, babe," Kirk wrapped an arm around his Vulcan. "It'll be _awesome_" Kirk gave him a lopsided grin.

" Vat is taking so long!" The tube beside them was bouncing in the water, and little blonde head was yelling at the top of his lungs.

"PASHA SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!" A hand pulled the blond gremlin down underneath him.

But I vant to...!

McCoy snaked his tongue into Ckekov's mouth, it shut him up quite efficiently. _I'll have to try that some time._ Kirk's inner monologue was taking notes.

" Yeah! Scott! What's taking you so long?" Kirk released Spock in favour of waving madly at the _top_ engineer.

" Would ye give me a wee minute, Jim!" Scott's eyes locked with Kirk's through the mirror above the wheel. "How many times do ya think I've driven one of these things!"

"Awe," Kirk pursed his lips. "Poor Monty can't drive a boat?" Scotty's eyes narrowed.

Sulu and Uhura looked at each other, fully knowing that they would never be able to say goodbye to their beloved captain.

Scott sat up, pressed a few things, and the motor started. Kirk's eyes widened as he quickly grabbed the handles, and shot one last glance at Spock and the people on the tube beside him.

McCoy and Chekov were both flustered as they scrambled away from each other. The rev of the engine was the only warning they got as the boat launched out onto the un-moving water, well, not so un-moving now.

Kirk screamed with excitement as the ropes yanked them behind Scotty. He turned his head toward his boyfriend. Spock's jaw was clenched and his face was white, like a ghost.

Surprisingly there was no screaming from the people beside him, or they already fell into the lake. Kirk's hair was plastered to his face, water was getting in his eyes and mouth, but he loved it.

Scott suddenly appeared at the back of the boat, waving. _Who's driving the..._ Kirk looked into the mirror, and saw Uhura staring back.

" Spock!" Kirk tried to shuffle closer to him, but the boat was speeding up. "If we die! Just know that I love you!"

Spock looked at Kirk and opened his mouth to speak. But Uhura whipped them around in a loop-de-loop.

"BONES NOOOOOO!" Chekov, or what was left of him, reached out dramatically after his lost boyfriend, which was a mistake.

The tube tilted and started to get air born. The shill scream of a dead man filled the air as the tube threw him off, and Chekov skidded over the lake.

On the boat, Sulu and Scott were _howling_ with laughter, at least Uhura was trying to be humane and not laug... never mind. She's laughing now too.

She slowed down to find their bodies.

McCoy had a smile plastered on his face, like the idiot he is. Chekovs smile looked like it would tear his face apart.

"Ready for round two?" Kirk watched the two living dead nod, Spock did too.


End file.
